08 - ALL "guy" (i.e., Buddy-Cops, Action heroes, etc...) movies are subconsciously gay. - No, they aren't. You are.
07 - All Michael Bay films are useless, commercialized "boom" movies that have no merit. - Yeah, that's why he keeps getting hired, his movies make BILLIONS, and out of the 8 films he has directed, only one (The Island) was a box office failure, and even then, the home video sales made the studio's money back. Escapism, people, his movies aren't meant to be taken seriously.
06 - People that have no lives and sit behind a laptop all day are ten times the filmmaker. - Really? And how's your film doing?
05 - If a movie is popular, it's total and utter crap. If it sucks, it's the world's greatest "underrated" masterpiece. - Once more proving my theory on "Not being trendy is the trendy thing to do,". People want so badly to be the first to tell their friends and family about a good movie they saw. When they find out they weren't the first person in the world to see it, they get disillusioned for being "mediocre". I'm sorry you couldn't keep that movie in your back pocket, Timmy. Go cry some more in your bowl of obscure college-music that nobody likes but you because you think your "on to something special". 'Special', alright.
04 - All kids movies are subconsciously telling your children to be gay. "Wall-E beeped and it sounded like 'cock'! He's gay! Pixar is telling our telling our children to be gay!!!" Okay people, if you looking and listening THAT hard for sexual innuendo, your bound to make something up in your head.
Children don't know what being gay is, but thanks to your self-stylized "innuendos", I'm sure they'll know soon enough, no thanks whatsoever to the movie, only to their homophobic parents. Get over yourselves, seriously.
03 - Everybody is a perfect historian. - Braveheart didn't do this! Things didn't happen like that in WW2! Who fucking cares?! Seriously, movies are ESCAPISM, folks. That's a form of entertainment, remember? If any of these 'historical' movies followed exactly what happened in real life, they'd be like watching paint dry!Watch the dramatic retelling, if it peaked your interests, go to the local library and research it! Better yet, stick to History Channel and just shut the fuck up, you pretentious piece of shit.
02 - If a movie has two guys, they are gay, no matter what the situation. - OK, I'm really sick of this one. Riggs and Murtaugh (ooops! I put Riggs first! I must be racist.) were not gay. It is possible that two dudes can be friends and not fill eachother's orifices with a giant cock. If your gay, or have homosexual fantasies about the way a couple of guys are projected in movie, that's fine. Honestly, not everyone else feels the same way. Stop trying to stuff your opinions down our throats (pun VERY intended).
01 - All movies that have a white person in the lead are racist. - Retarded. And projected self-loathing. Take a look at Spike Lee's "Inside Man", and tell me that movie wasn't very anti-caucasian.
Seriously, folks, if you can't handle watching movies, you shouldn't do it. Comedies are offensive for people like you, as well as sex, violence, etc. If you don't have another outlet for your time other than to point and bitch, go kill yourself. Make sure your naked when you do so, so you don't piss and shit in the clothes that are are worth more than you.
Signed,
Zeb Nipper, who loves to get on the internet and bitch about internet armed bitchers.
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2 comments:
Excellent post, and it pinpoints nearly everything that's wrong with IMDb and the people who post there. Invariably every film on the site has a "WORST MOVIE EVER!" thread, a thread about it being racist, and a thread about how overrated *and* one about how underrated it is.
Thanks for your comment! IMDB.com is my favorite site, and, in my humble opinion, possibly the greatest site on the net for movies. It really brings down the morale of the site to have such negative people on there. Why is it so hard for people to remember that movies are just entertainment?
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